Wednesday, June 02, 2004
How long...?
How long had it been, 8 months? a year? He'd forgotten. He couldn't remember the last time he lived on the grid, couldn't remember the last time he sat down and used a computer or payed a bill in anything other than cash. He used to have a cell phone, pager, computer with high speed connections, he lived in a nice little appartment, paid his bills on time. He had a blog, wrote a column in the local paper, and was active in his community. Then came the homeland security bill. At first he thought nothing of it thinking that he was just a small time guy in small time world. When the Bush adminastration went to Afganastan he supported it, then came news that they were chasing a fart into Iraq. He was a little perturbed by it. He had read numerous articles all saying that bin Ladin would never work with Saddam. So he started posting on his blog these things, writing in his coloumn, he started calling out the Bushies as he called them he was doing everything in his power to make people aware of the adminastrations faults. Then he started noticing things, his connection seemed slower, his computer was going down way to often for a mac, and he was hearing 'ghosts' on his phone. Maybe it could be explained with the new power lines installed just a month or so. Then came the day that Bush said Mission accomplished on the aircraft carrier. He had been at work in his cubicle when it came on the TV just over his head. He felt disgusted and had to go home. Instead of driving he decided to walk home out the back entrance. He took the long way home.
As he got with in seeing distance of his apartment complex and saw strange looking people coming and going from his apartment. He decided not to press it but decided to watch and try and get closer. he got with in about 20 feet and could hear some of them talking. They were discussing the phone lines and his cell phone. Something about how that model may actually reject the bug. That day Jeremy Tymons became a ghost. He never went back to his apartment, instead he turned around and ran ran back to his car. Where he saw a small car three cars behind him two men on cell phones wearing suits, kinda hot to wearing suits he thought. He got in his car and drove off. He noticed the car was now behind him always staying two to three car lengths back. He stopped in a parking garage and got out. He had been using the garage for a while and knew where to go. He left went to an ATM. He withdrew almost all of his savings and his checking account. He thanked god he never put a limit on that. He noticed the two men were still behind him this time though they seemed to be window shopping. he walked down to a local pizza parlor wherehe knew there was always a cop. After walking in he saw the cop and told him that two men in suits were harassing him about becoming a Jevoha Witness. He quickly walked to the bathroom where there was a window just big enough to get behind the pizza parlor. he looked out the window, god damn road construction it was at least an extra 5 feet on the drop now, so instead of 10 feet it would be at least 15.
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How long had it been, 8 months? a year? He'd forgotten. He couldn't remember the last time he lived on the grid, couldn't remember the last time he sat down and used a computer or payed a bill in anything other than cash. He used to have a cell phone, pager, computer with high speed connections, he lived in a nice little appartment, paid his bills on time. He had a blog, wrote a column in the local paper, and was active in his community. Then came the homeland security bill. At first he thought nothing of it thinking that he was just a small time guy in small time world. When the Bush adminastration went to Afganastan he supported it, then came news that they were chasing a fart into Iraq. He was a little perturbed by it. He had read numerous articles all saying that bin Ladin would never work with Saddam. So he started posting on his blog these things, writing in his coloumn, he started calling out the Bushies as he called them he was doing everything in his power to make people aware of the adminastrations faults. Then he started noticing things, his connection seemed slower, his computer was going down way to often for a mac, and he was hearing 'ghosts' on his phone. Maybe it could be explained with the new power lines installed just a month or so. Then came the day that Bush said Mission accomplished on the aircraft carrier. He had been at work in his cubicle when it came on the TV just over his head. He felt disgusted and had to go home. Instead of driving he decided to walk home out the back entrance. He took the long way home.
As he got with in seeing distance of his apartment complex and saw strange looking people coming and going from his apartment. He decided not to press it but decided to watch and try and get closer. he got with in about 20 feet and could hear some of them talking. They were discussing the phone lines and his cell phone. Something about how that model may actually reject the bug. That day Jeremy Tymons became a ghost. He never went back to his apartment, instead he turned around and ran ran back to his car. Where he saw a small car three cars behind him two men on cell phones wearing suits, kinda hot to wearing suits he thought. He got in his car and drove off. He noticed the car was now behind him always staying two to three car lengths back. He stopped in a parking garage and got out. He had been using the garage for a while and knew where to go. He left went to an ATM. He withdrew almost all of his savings and his checking account. He thanked god he never put a limit on that. He noticed the two men were still behind him this time though they seemed to be window shopping. he walked down to a local pizza parlor wherehe knew there was always a cop. After walking in he saw the cop and told him that two men in suits were harassing him about becoming a Jevoha Witness. He quickly walked to the bathroom where there was a window just big enough to get behind the pizza parlor. he looked out the window, god damn road construction it was at least an extra 5 feet on the drop now, so instead of 10 feet it would be at least 15.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
opening in a small diner on a busy highway. Midmorning lots of trucks in the parking lot, descent amount of people in the diner. Small groups litter the area, smaller families, college kids, singles at the counter and a few older people in some booths.
Old man sitting in a corner booth by himself eating a slice of strawberry pie, with a large glass of milk in front of him. The bill sits on the edge with plenty of money under it for service and tip. Old mans name is Jacob Harrison, Jake to the wait staff. Looks like he was seen betters days mid/late 80's, head full of salt and pepper hair. Thin beard and mustache. Body type looks like he was once very athletic and still runs and bikes alot. Not feeble just age has caught up with him. He wears his usual flannel shirt covering a white sleeveless t-shirt and faded khakis. On his feet he is wearing a Nike walking shoes. His Baltimore Orioles cap from 1978 sits next to him.
A Couple four booths down right next to the door, late 20's. He has gold tooth and a small scar above his left eye, blond hair that was dyed the night before and still smells of bleaching agents. A thin goatee, slight acne, green eyes that seem to hide something. Seems to be a little on the slight slide, does a lot of walking only because he doesn't own a car and has to walk 3 miles to and from work. Upper arms both are covered in tattoos but are currently covered by his black t-shirt. His jeans are faded blue and have holes in them, his thick work boots have been worn so much the tread is gone and there are holes on the sides. The girl looks like Courtney Love tripping on Acid, after falling down a few flights of stares. Really dark roots and hair looks like straw its been bleached so much. Her face has some pockets of missing flesh, kinda like servere burns but on a much smaller scale. She wears big clunky shoes and old ratty capris with a t-shirt one size to large.
Jay the man looks at Jennifer the girl and asks if she is ready. She says she is but is maybe a little nervous. He gets up and walks out with out paying.
Karen, one of the waitstaff walks up to Jake and says that she is gonna have to over charge him today because it looks like some one is gonna get stiffed. Jake doesn't look away from his paper but does let a little chuckle out and says, "well I guess you ain't gettin' a tip." Karen tops off his coffee and starts walking toward the half empty table. As she gets closer she looks outside and see the man walking back in. 'Good thing,' she thinks, 'I hate getting stiffed.' She then notices something else just as he walks in the door, isn't it a little hot for a long coat like that? Unfortunately that was the last thing she thought beacuse as she turned her back to him and started back to the kitchen she was shot in the back of the head with a sawed off shotgun.
"Alright mother fuckers this is a robbery. Open your wallets and your hearts because we are taking it all. Jewerly and anything else will be nice. This beatiful young lady will be collecting it all, so please be quick. Now you've seem what I will do to someone so don't make this a blood bath."
"You heard the man lets give to the needy and you won't get hurt. Lets start with this nice family, thank you very much for your donation. Now you old man."
"I'm sorry i don't give to the worthless"
"Excuse me saw what my man did to that fat cow of a waitress, you might want to re-think it."
"I saw what ya did to Grace, I also know that she had a husband and kids and that you two aren't sorry for what you just did. Human life is too valuable to be stopped like that"
Jay:"old man stop the philsophy lesson and fork over your stuff or will pick it off you and clean the blood off later. I am not even going to count to three just hand it over."
"You have no idea what you are getting into do you?"
"Listen old man hand over the nice pendant and we'll let you live"
"Do you know what this is? Its thr eye of Karang, and since you probably don't know what that is I'll tell you"
with that the old man flashes to the side of Jay grabbing the shot gun and with a quick twirl smashes Jay in the face breaking his nose and spraying blood across three tables. Jay falls to the floor and begins screaming in pain. Jennifer stunned at the speed of the old man stands in silence until she remembers the gun Jay gave her just seconds ago she raises it but before she can get a shot off she is hammered to the floor with a round house right. The gun slides away and she groans in pain with a broken jaw, nose, cheekbone and eye socket it makes the left side of her face almost unrecongnizable. As she screams in pain Jacob walks to Jay, with each step years melt way from him until he is a tall strong mid 20 year old with numerous tattoos. He reaches down for Jay who before Jacob can grab him pulls out a small Derringer and shoots Jake in the chest.
Jake stumbles back but does not fall the wound oozes blood and begins to stains his shirts. He reaches down and grabs jau bythe back of the head and lifts him straight up holding only Jay's hair. Jay, his face bloody with the broken nose spits blood at Jake as he acts "you never told me what's the necklace for?"
"Ohh this its just some cool trinket I found in Spencers. Now James Micheal Pastini it is time for your judgement."
"How do you know my name?"
"I know all about you Jay. About how your Uncle Peter used to touch you, about you and that thing over there and how you are into some devient sex things that with kids here I won't tell about. I know that this isn't the 1st person you have ever killed. But lets leave the whole This is Your Life moment to ol' St. Pete. So why don't you go meet him." A slight hiss begind to emenate from Jay as his last breath escapes him. He then falls dead to the floor.
Jacob then walks to Jennifer the chest wound still leaking blood and picks her up. "for your crimes I also judge you guilty and sentence you to death."
"What are you Judge Jury and Executioner?"
"Yes" with that she too falls to the floor dead. Jacob then walks to the middle of the diner and annoucing to the entire crowd "You never saw me. I don't exist. Those two turned on each other she shot him in the stomach and in his dying moments shot her in the head." two large blood spots then appear one around Jennifer's head the other around Jays mid section. "Remember this I am The One's Weapon. I pass judgement, I am not bound by human laws, nor by humans, I answer to only two. Yet I may dispence justice and vengence where I see fit. Should I cross pathes with any of you doing anything like this your judgement will be as swift and severe. Live your lives right and expect forgiveness after you have given it."
"Who are you?" asked a small boy.
"I am No one."
As he walked out the door and heard police sirens he slowly slid behind the wheel of his car and waved a hand. His car disappeared from the veiw of the police and the people in the diner. The people in the diner then all forgot the man and remembered his story about love turned sour.
Jake pulled out a small cigar and lit it. He then looked in his rear view mirror to see his new face. he then saw a second face in his back seat.
"Didn't expect you so quick."
(And now where)
|
Old man sitting in a corner booth by himself eating a slice of strawberry pie, with a large glass of milk in front of him. The bill sits on the edge with plenty of money under it for service and tip. Old mans name is Jacob Harrison, Jake to the wait staff. Looks like he was seen betters days mid/late 80's, head full of salt and pepper hair. Thin beard and mustache. Body type looks like he was once very athletic and still runs and bikes alot. Not feeble just age has caught up with him. He wears his usual flannel shirt covering a white sleeveless t-shirt and faded khakis. On his feet he is wearing a Nike walking shoes. His Baltimore Orioles cap from 1978 sits next to him.
A Couple four booths down right next to the door, late 20's. He has gold tooth and a small scar above his left eye, blond hair that was dyed the night before and still smells of bleaching agents. A thin goatee, slight acne, green eyes that seem to hide something. Seems to be a little on the slight slide, does a lot of walking only because he doesn't own a car and has to walk 3 miles to and from work. Upper arms both are covered in tattoos but are currently covered by his black t-shirt. His jeans are faded blue and have holes in them, his thick work boots have been worn so much the tread is gone and there are holes on the sides. The girl looks like Courtney Love tripping on Acid, after falling down a few flights of stares. Really dark roots and hair looks like straw its been bleached so much. Her face has some pockets of missing flesh, kinda like servere burns but on a much smaller scale. She wears big clunky shoes and old ratty capris with a t-shirt one size to large.
Jay the man looks at Jennifer the girl and asks if she is ready. She says she is but is maybe a little nervous. He gets up and walks out with out paying.
Karen, one of the waitstaff walks up to Jake and says that she is gonna have to over charge him today because it looks like some one is gonna get stiffed. Jake doesn't look away from his paper but does let a little chuckle out and says, "well I guess you ain't gettin' a tip." Karen tops off his coffee and starts walking toward the half empty table. As she gets closer she looks outside and see the man walking back in. 'Good thing,' she thinks, 'I hate getting stiffed.' She then notices something else just as he walks in the door, isn't it a little hot for a long coat like that? Unfortunately that was the last thing she thought beacuse as she turned her back to him and started back to the kitchen she was shot in the back of the head with a sawed off shotgun.
"Alright mother fuckers this is a robbery. Open your wallets and your hearts because we are taking it all. Jewerly and anything else will be nice. This beatiful young lady will be collecting it all, so please be quick. Now you've seem what I will do to someone so don't make this a blood bath."
"You heard the man lets give to the needy and you won't get hurt. Lets start with this nice family, thank you very much for your donation. Now you old man."
"I'm sorry i don't give to the worthless"
"Excuse me saw what my man did to that fat cow of a waitress, you might want to re-think it."
"I saw what ya did to Grace, I also know that she had a husband and kids and that you two aren't sorry for what you just did. Human life is too valuable to be stopped like that"
Jay:"old man stop the philsophy lesson and fork over your stuff or will pick it off you and clean the blood off later. I am not even going to count to three just hand it over."
"You have no idea what you are getting into do you?"
"Listen old man hand over the nice pendant and we'll let you live"
"Do you know what this is? Its thr eye of Karang, and since you probably don't know what that is I'll tell you"
with that the old man flashes to the side of Jay grabbing the shot gun and with a quick twirl smashes Jay in the face breaking his nose and spraying blood across three tables. Jay falls to the floor and begins screaming in pain. Jennifer stunned at the speed of the old man stands in silence until she remembers the gun Jay gave her just seconds ago she raises it but before she can get a shot off she is hammered to the floor with a round house right. The gun slides away and she groans in pain with a broken jaw, nose, cheekbone and eye socket it makes the left side of her face almost unrecongnizable. As she screams in pain Jacob walks to Jay, with each step years melt way from him until he is a tall strong mid 20 year old with numerous tattoos. He reaches down for Jay who before Jacob can grab him pulls out a small Derringer and shoots Jake in the chest.
Jake stumbles back but does not fall the wound oozes blood and begins to stains his shirts. He reaches down and grabs jau bythe back of the head and lifts him straight up holding only Jay's hair. Jay, his face bloody with the broken nose spits blood at Jake as he acts "you never told me what's the necklace for?"
"Ohh this its just some cool trinket I found in Spencers. Now James Micheal Pastini it is time for your judgement."
"How do you know my name?"
"I know all about you Jay. About how your Uncle Peter used to touch you, about you and that thing over there and how you are into some devient sex things that with kids here I won't tell about. I know that this isn't the 1st person you have ever killed. But lets leave the whole This is Your Life moment to ol' St. Pete. So why don't you go meet him." A slight hiss begind to emenate from Jay as his last breath escapes him. He then falls dead to the floor.
Jacob then walks to Jennifer the chest wound still leaking blood and picks her up. "for your crimes I also judge you guilty and sentence you to death."
"What are you Judge Jury and Executioner?"
"Yes" with that she too falls to the floor dead. Jacob then walks to the middle of the diner and annoucing to the entire crowd "You never saw me. I don't exist. Those two turned on each other she shot him in the stomach and in his dying moments shot her in the head." two large blood spots then appear one around Jennifer's head the other around Jays mid section. "Remember this I am The One's Weapon. I pass judgement, I am not bound by human laws, nor by humans, I answer to only two. Yet I may dispence justice and vengence where I see fit. Should I cross pathes with any of you doing anything like this your judgement will be as swift and severe. Live your lives right and expect forgiveness after you have given it."
"Who are you?" asked a small boy.
"I am No one."
As he walked out the door and heard police sirens he slowly slid behind the wheel of his car and waved a hand. His car disappeared from the veiw of the police and the people in the diner. The people in the diner then all forgot the man and remembered his story about love turned sour.
Jake pulled out a small cigar and lit it. He then looked in his rear view mirror to see his new face. he then saw a second face in his back seat.
"Didn't expect you so quick."
(And now where)
evil thoughts they pervert my mind, they want to drag me down, drag to a place that others can not reach.
Can find what I need, can not see it in the distance, is it coming? am I going toward it? or is it running from me?
Been left alone so long I am used to it, don't need to like it but it happens, but really know if i want some with me.
Why do I come to this place in me? Why can I not deal with this? Why? Why? Why? Asking questions only I can answer. No one else only me.
Need to feel wanted, needed to feel liked, need to feel
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Can find what I need, can not see it in the distance, is it coming? am I going toward it? or is it running from me?
Been left alone so long I am used to it, don't need to like it but it happens, but really know if i want some with me.
Why do I come to this place in me? Why can I not deal with this? Why? Why? Why? Asking questions only I can answer. No one else only me.
Need to feel wanted, needed to feel liked, need to feel
Friday, March 26, 2004
liners for pool boy
sit back and grab some jesus juice its pool boy on 91 fm
pool boy has fueds you don't even know about.
ever have that feeling that some one may be stalking you? ya thats pool boy
ever look out the window and all you see in the bushes is eyes? ya thats pool boy
cleaning cough caough pools since 1998
if this guy got any cooler he'd be freezing and well all know that cold pools cause shrinkage.
why do you think they call him pool boy, well its cause he is in to water sports right hot carl
the only guy who wears a rubber ducky out side of the pool.
put on your intertube flippers and water wings its pool boy on 91fm
the best pool boy in the tri states or at least thats what the rich lonely wives say
Beyonce tried dating him but he had pools to clean.
He roots for the yankees yea and he also loves charlie pride
discovered by eminem put behind the mike by dre and produced by bubb its pool boy
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sit back and grab some jesus juice its pool boy on 91 fm
pool boy has fueds you don't even know about.
ever have that feeling that some one may be stalking you? ya thats pool boy
ever look out the window and all you see in the bushes is eyes? ya thats pool boy
cleaning cough caough pools since 1998
if this guy got any cooler he'd be freezing and well all know that cold pools cause shrinkage.
why do you think they call him pool boy, well its cause he is in to water sports right hot carl
the only guy who wears a rubber ducky out side of the pool.
put on your intertube flippers and water wings its pool boy on 91fm
the best pool boy in the tri states or at least thats what the rich lonely wives say
Beyonce tried dating him but he had pools to clean.
He roots for the yankees yea and he also loves charlie pride
discovered by eminem put behind the mike by dre and produced by bubb its pool boy
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Since all my word programs are down I am gonna use this to bounce things off.
morning on super hits join the man who loves the smell of napalm. doc on 106.1
We got the shag carpet the lava lamps and the best hits of the 70's on Super hits 106.a
we can make you deals you can not refuse. Superhits 106.1
wake up to a horse's ... umm head every weekday its doc on superhits 106.1
and you thought we were trying its the morning rounds with doc SH 106.1
get your daily injection of humor on morning rounds with doc SH106.1
he wears daisy dukes all the time, frankly its quite disturbing its doc on superhits 106.1
Traveling the country seeking his father and settling scores with his... umm... does doc have any real talent? SH106.1
don't feed him after midnight and don't get him wet, well maybe thats what that smell is doc morning on SH 106.1
He wears llama skin coats and cobra skin boots, Doc on 106.1
We are better shots then the a-team. That and we aren't criminals, ok so maybe not doc. SH 106.1
Talking cars, big hair, and fun times its super hits 106.1
whats a muppet dad? its part mop part uppet. SH 106.1
we can rebuild him we can make him better we can wait this is doc we're talking about right? (million dollar man sound playing)
I bet you thought farra fawset looked good in a swim suit you should see the on air guys of SH 106.1
Charlie's angels ain't got nothing on doc.
(on cb radio) thats a big ten for big daddy I am listening to SH 106.1
at least doc understood hr puffenstuff
ever see wonderwoman's invisable plane? Doc has join him mornings on SH 106.1
HEY HEY HEY ITS DOC on SH 106.1
he has all of the josie and pussycats on beta its doc
you thought those people talking to puppets on seaseme street was weird doc does that every afternoon
We drink coke and eat pop rocks at the same time. can you say dangerous? SH 106.1
It really wasn't that hard to convince everyone here on SH to get mutton chops and to wear their shirts open all the time. But it was hard to get them to wear five pounds of gold around there necks.
eating frankenberry chased with Pabst its a regular breakfast on morning rounds with doc.
Coming to work everyday on a big wheel, now thats fun.
You want danger we drive pintos while smoking and quarter pounders with cheese. EXTRA PICKLES.
playing twister with doug wagen is quite interesting, playing it with ed witt is downright diffacult.
yes doc does own an eight track and its in his car.
Dr. J, Mr. Kotter and Doc are the only ones that ever looked good in afros.
trading cokes for football jerseys way before it was cool.
we know that its tuna in those cans sorry charlie but we do.
still afraid to go in the water actually we are afraid of toilets and baths too. (jaws music)
(dead air) that little bit of dead air was brought to you by schlitz.
shows about monkeys and their truck driving buddies always get us to stop.
Here's a story of a man named doc, and ahh hell i forget the rest but i do know he is single. how 'bout that ladies?
down goes frazier down goes frazier (no idea where that one came from)
johnny fever no this isn't WKRP in cincinatti its Super hits in Dubuque.
we'd like to teach the world to sing its just we're all tone def at super hits 106.1
Have you noticed dick clark hasn't aged a day since american band stand? us too, we think he is a cyborg.
listen to lief garret back before he wasted his money on good drugs and bad advice. (ok so thats my sick sence of humor)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS THE CASSIDY BROTHERS!!!!!
rick springfield was from austrialia?
I am betting right now that you are thinking of william shattner in a tight police uniform... you weren't well you are now. SH
we don't have post it notes here at super hits 106.1 no if we leave a message its on a etch a sketch.
Maybe more 2morrow.
|
morning on super hits join the man who loves the smell of napalm. doc on 106.1
We got the shag carpet the lava lamps and the best hits of the 70's on Super hits 106.a
we can make you deals you can not refuse. Superhits 106.1
wake up to a horse's ... umm head every weekday its doc on superhits 106.1
and you thought we were trying its the morning rounds with doc SH 106.1
get your daily injection of humor on morning rounds with doc SH106.1
he wears daisy dukes all the time, frankly its quite disturbing its doc on superhits 106.1
Traveling the country seeking his father and settling scores with his... umm... does doc have any real talent? SH106.1
don't feed him after midnight and don't get him wet, well maybe thats what that smell is doc morning on SH 106.1
He wears llama skin coats and cobra skin boots, Doc on 106.1
We are better shots then the a-team. That and we aren't criminals, ok so maybe not doc. SH 106.1
Talking cars, big hair, and fun times its super hits 106.1
whats a muppet dad? its part mop part uppet. SH 106.1
we can rebuild him we can make him better we can wait this is doc we're talking about right? (million dollar man sound playing)
I bet you thought farra fawset looked good in a swim suit you should see the on air guys of SH 106.1
Charlie's angels ain't got nothing on doc.
(on cb radio) thats a big ten for big daddy I am listening to SH 106.1
at least doc understood hr puffenstuff
ever see wonderwoman's invisable plane? Doc has join him mornings on SH 106.1
HEY HEY HEY ITS DOC on SH 106.1
he has all of the josie and pussycats on beta its doc
you thought those people talking to puppets on seaseme street was weird doc does that every afternoon
We drink coke and eat pop rocks at the same time. can you say dangerous? SH 106.1
It really wasn't that hard to convince everyone here on SH to get mutton chops and to wear their shirts open all the time. But it was hard to get them to wear five pounds of gold around there necks.
eating frankenberry chased with Pabst its a regular breakfast on morning rounds with doc.
Coming to work everyday on a big wheel, now thats fun.
You want danger we drive pintos while smoking and quarter pounders with cheese. EXTRA PICKLES.
playing twister with doug wagen is quite interesting, playing it with ed witt is downright diffacult.
yes doc does own an eight track and its in his car.
Dr. J, Mr. Kotter and Doc are the only ones that ever looked good in afros.
trading cokes for football jerseys way before it was cool.
we know that its tuna in those cans sorry charlie but we do.
still afraid to go in the water actually we are afraid of toilets and baths too. (jaws music)
(dead air) that little bit of dead air was brought to you by schlitz.
shows about monkeys and their truck driving buddies always get us to stop.
Here's a story of a man named doc, and ahh hell i forget the rest but i do know he is single. how 'bout that ladies?
down goes frazier down goes frazier (no idea where that one came from)
johnny fever no this isn't WKRP in cincinatti its Super hits in Dubuque.
we'd like to teach the world to sing its just we're all tone def at super hits 106.1
Have you noticed dick clark hasn't aged a day since american band stand? us too, we think he is a cyborg.
listen to lief garret back before he wasted his money on good drugs and bad advice. (ok so thats my sick sence of humor)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS THE CASSIDY BROTHERS!!!!!
rick springfield was from austrialia?
I am betting right now that you are thinking of william shattner in a tight police uniform... you weren't well you are now. SH
we don't have post it notes here at super hits 106.1 no if we leave a message its on a etch a sketch.
Maybe more 2morrow.
Friday, March 12, 2004
1-900...
It was 3:30am and I was unable to sleep. I'd been up watching late night TV for so long, that damn juicer and rotissier cooker are starting to look like sound investments. I broke up with my girl friend of 3 years a week ago. She left for Mexico the next day. She said she broke up with me because I was stuck in a rut and wasn't exciting any more well that and its been three years and she has no ring. Women really ought to come with instructions.
Since she broke up with me I have been showing up to work early and leaving around midnight, then its off to the MY local watering hole. I live in a pretty liberal open minded college town and let me tell you the women are very openminded. Some times it does kinda freak me out. Just last night I was enjoying my Budwieser in a bottle, always a bottle, when this young lady had to have been 21-22 came up to me and started rubbing herself on me. Telling me all about her day and asking me questions. I can tell you this when I go out I go out to drink not meet women for a random hook up. She was kinda turned off, but then I turned on the charm and started to get her a bit relaxed. If there is one thing I hate about myself is that I hate being a mean person. Well we hit off that night and I got her number and I invited her back to my place. Sure I was a bit wasted but what the hell it was only a four block walk back to my appartment. When we got back it seemed like a letter from Penthouse Forum, at 1st any way. After we got in the door I asked if she wanted anything to drink, she asked what kind of alcohol I had for shots, I pulled down some Doc, Tequilla, Jack, and Korbel (if there is anything I have its lots of alcohol in my appartment). She wanted some tequilla after getting the salt and lime and shot ready she asked if we could do body shots, drunk and kinda loopy I said why not. She put some salt in her cleavage ample athletic cleavage at that, I licked that off then she started pouring it down her chest, I caught most of it. She then did it to me on my neck. Ohh it felt so good just to have a women touching me again. She then started kissing my neck further and started touching me and moving places. Ohh this was great. Then she grabbed my belt and started to undo it. I wanted to I really did. But I told her to stop. I couldn't do this.
"What do you mean you can't do this? You got whiskey dick or something? Listen I know I can get you off."
"No no its not that at all"
"What don't you find me fuckable?"
Ohh there was a questioned that hadn't been posed to me in a while, "No god no. I think you are a beautiful young woman."
"Then why the fuck aren't we fucking like rabbits?"
Yeah why weren't we? "Listen you are a beautiful young woman its just I just broke up and don't really feel ready to get back in dating game just yet."
"Dating who said anything about dating? I just wanna fuck. My ride has already left and I not paying for a cab or going home this late so either we fuck and you fall asleep with me or I'll just go back and find some other guy I am sure there are still some horney guys left just walking the streets."
"No, no don't do that. Why don't you just go in to my bed room and just spend the night. OK? I don't want you out on th streets just looking for some random guy." She looked at me like what is wrong with you.
"Don't I turn you on? I mean don't you wanna fuck me?"
"You are a pretty young lady its just that I don't work that way."
"Well fine. But you aren't some kind of psycho killer are you?"
"No. If it makes you feel better you can lock the bedroom door, there are some shirts in the basket closest to the computer that you can sleep in if you want"
"Well damnit now I am tired and drunk. So I guess I will just stay here. But you had your chance so nothing funny," with that she shot me a cold look.
"Don't worry. If ya need a ride back wake me up in the morning."
If that she walked into my bed room and I heard the door click and then lock behind her. I could have been screwing some hot college chick instead I am on the couch tonight. Ohh well my mind was still on Kara.
I grabbed another Bud from the fridge and the remote and sat down. I flipped on the channels and 'The People vs Larry Flint' was on a good movie. As I sat there watching a commercial came on. A commercial for 'fun girls and good chats.' Always an interesting thing. Then I heard it coming from my bed room, snoring, incredibly loud snoring. Damn a little girl like that snoring that loud. Thats when a similar commercial came on for a party line, geez man. But there was the phone right there, maybe I should, nah, wait, maybe, nah, shit the commercials over now. Maybe the next time it come on. When the next commercial break came on I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I went back in and sat down and had the phone in hand when the next one came on.
I started dialing and before I could hang up there was a voice. shit I guess now that I am here might as well stay for a while.
"Hello" came the sultry voice. Probably a fat ugly chick.
"uhh hello."
"you sound kind hesitant. This your 1st time?"
"well yeah, on the phone with a stranger and all."
"Oh well don't worry about it I do this all day long. So what are you wear..."
"Really all day long? Doesn't it get tiring some days?"
"Not when I am talking to hot newbies like you."
"Well how do you know if I am hot?"
"Well you called me and if you called ME I know your hot"
"Wait a sec here. How many hot guys call these numbers. I mean I imagine the guys who call these mubers are pimply losers who struck out and have a vidid imagination and can't get laid."
"Nope they are all hot guys. So do you mind if we can get on with it... so what are you wearing right now?"
"All hot guys, is that just what you tell yourself to get through it?"
"You aren't one of those self loathing religious haters are you?"
"ohh god no, its just that I am well I am torn"
"I shouldn't ask this... why are you torn? Are you attracted to guy but think your straight?"
"ummm no... I.... I .... I just broke up with my girlfriend and then tonight I met this young lady and she came back to my place and well we were about to get into when I just couldn't do it."
"what like couldn't get it up? Cause I can help you with that."
"God, why do you two keep telling me that? No, I just couldn't fuck her. I mean there is fucking, sex and then there is that other one where there is a conection between the two people involved."
"So you are gay."
"NO!!"
"OK fine, your not gay but you don't wanna fuck some hot, she is hot at least, chick, right?"
"Well yeah"
"OK thats good, so why don't you just wanna fuck her brains out?"
"Well cause I have always prefered to have a connection with the woman I am with."
"So you have only been with one woman in your life?"
"Well two, ok six if you count the times they brought a friend home."
"So you have had three ways. What about when you were with the other woman? what did it feel like then?"
"it was different, but my girlfriends always said to just keep going and try and picture my face on her. Which was never really that hard, until we met up with a black woman."
"You got something against black women?"
"No, no, it was just hard imagining my girl friend who is not all that tan, on a black womans body."
"ohh ok"
"But ya know with out my girlfriend here its just been so diffacult to stop picturing her around the place."
"Why did she leave?"
"She said I wasn't exciting any more that and I hadn't proposed yet after three years."
"Well had you become stagnent?"
"kinda but thats because i like to get into a rthym at work and in life, I mean I'd still come home some days and ask if she wanted to go out then take her for a late dinner or walk or something. As for the marriage thing well she never talked about it. But I had picked out a ring and just needed one more month before I could buy it."
"So you were planing on proposing?"
"yeah I was, but now she is in mexico and I am here"
"Why is she in mexico?"
"Well she went on vacation with some friends."
"did she ask you to go with?"
"not really, but I told her that when I get my vacation in the summer that we would go some where like Jamica or something."
"What did she think of that idea?"
"She liked it but didn't know if she could get another week off later in the year."
"Well ya know what I think? I think that when she gets back you talk to her take her out to dinner and tell her everything. But instead of me being a phone sex operator tell her I am a girl you met in a bar."
"You think I should do that?"
"I do indeed."
"OK then. Well thank you for helping me."
"No problem, now are we gonna get down to the talking dirty." With that she let a little laugh out.
"No I think I am just gonna fall asleep right now."
"OK well you have a good night"
"Thank you"
CLICK.
Three days later I talked to Kara again. By the way that was the best $47.56 I ever spent.
|
It was 3:30am and I was unable to sleep. I'd been up watching late night TV for so long, that damn juicer and rotissier cooker are starting to look like sound investments. I broke up with my girl friend of 3 years a week ago. She left for Mexico the next day. She said she broke up with me because I was stuck in a rut and wasn't exciting any more well that and its been three years and she has no ring. Women really ought to come with instructions.
Since she broke up with me I have been showing up to work early and leaving around midnight, then its off to the MY local watering hole. I live in a pretty liberal open minded college town and let me tell you the women are very openminded. Some times it does kinda freak me out. Just last night I was enjoying my Budwieser in a bottle, always a bottle, when this young lady had to have been 21-22 came up to me and started rubbing herself on me. Telling me all about her day and asking me questions. I can tell you this when I go out I go out to drink not meet women for a random hook up. She was kinda turned off, but then I turned on the charm and started to get her a bit relaxed. If there is one thing I hate about myself is that I hate being a mean person. Well we hit off that night and I got her number and I invited her back to my place. Sure I was a bit wasted but what the hell it was only a four block walk back to my appartment. When we got back it seemed like a letter from Penthouse Forum, at 1st any way. After we got in the door I asked if she wanted anything to drink, she asked what kind of alcohol I had for shots, I pulled down some Doc, Tequilla, Jack, and Korbel (if there is anything I have its lots of alcohol in my appartment). She wanted some tequilla after getting the salt and lime and shot ready she asked if we could do body shots, drunk and kinda loopy I said why not. She put some salt in her cleavage ample athletic cleavage at that, I licked that off then she started pouring it down her chest, I caught most of it. She then did it to me on my neck. Ohh it felt so good just to have a women touching me again. She then started kissing my neck further and started touching me and moving places. Ohh this was great. Then she grabbed my belt and started to undo it. I wanted to I really did. But I told her to stop. I couldn't do this.
"What do you mean you can't do this? You got whiskey dick or something? Listen I know I can get you off."
"No no its not that at all"
"What don't you find me fuckable?"
Ohh there was a questioned that hadn't been posed to me in a while, "No god no. I think you are a beautiful young woman."
"Then why the fuck aren't we fucking like rabbits?"
Yeah why weren't we? "Listen you are a beautiful young woman its just I just broke up and don't really feel ready to get back in dating game just yet."
"Dating who said anything about dating? I just wanna fuck. My ride has already left and I not paying for a cab or going home this late so either we fuck and you fall asleep with me or I'll just go back and find some other guy I am sure there are still some horney guys left just walking the streets."
"No, no don't do that. Why don't you just go in to my bed room and just spend the night. OK? I don't want you out on th streets just looking for some random guy." She looked at me like what is wrong with you.
"Don't I turn you on? I mean don't you wanna fuck me?"
"You are a pretty young lady its just that I don't work that way."
"Well fine. But you aren't some kind of psycho killer are you?"
"No. If it makes you feel better you can lock the bedroom door, there are some shirts in the basket closest to the computer that you can sleep in if you want"
"Well damnit now I am tired and drunk. So I guess I will just stay here. But you had your chance so nothing funny," with that she shot me a cold look.
"Don't worry. If ya need a ride back wake me up in the morning."
If that she walked into my bed room and I heard the door click and then lock behind her. I could have been screwing some hot college chick instead I am on the couch tonight. Ohh well my mind was still on Kara.
I grabbed another Bud from the fridge and the remote and sat down. I flipped on the channels and 'The People vs Larry Flint' was on a good movie. As I sat there watching a commercial came on. A commercial for 'fun girls and good chats.' Always an interesting thing. Then I heard it coming from my bed room, snoring, incredibly loud snoring. Damn a little girl like that snoring that loud. Thats when a similar commercial came on for a party line, geez man. But there was the phone right there, maybe I should, nah, wait, maybe, nah, shit the commercials over now. Maybe the next time it come on. When the next commercial break came on I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I went back in and sat down and had the phone in hand when the next one came on.
I started dialing and before I could hang up there was a voice. shit I guess now that I am here might as well stay for a while.
"Hello" came the sultry voice. Probably a fat ugly chick.
"uhh hello."
"you sound kind hesitant. This your 1st time?"
"well yeah, on the phone with a stranger and all."
"Oh well don't worry about it I do this all day long. So what are you wear..."
"Really all day long? Doesn't it get tiring some days?"
"Not when I am talking to hot newbies like you."
"Well how do you know if I am hot?"
"Well you called me and if you called ME I know your hot"
"Wait a sec here. How many hot guys call these numbers. I mean I imagine the guys who call these mubers are pimply losers who struck out and have a vidid imagination and can't get laid."
"Nope they are all hot guys. So do you mind if we can get on with it... so what are you wearing right now?"
"All hot guys, is that just what you tell yourself to get through it?"
"You aren't one of those self loathing religious haters are you?"
"ohh god no, its just that I am well I am torn"
"I shouldn't ask this... why are you torn? Are you attracted to guy but think your straight?"
"ummm no... I.... I .... I just broke up with my girlfriend and then tonight I met this young lady and she came back to my place and well we were about to get into when I just couldn't do it."
"what like couldn't get it up? Cause I can help you with that."
"God, why do you two keep telling me that? No, I just couldn't fuck her. I mean there is fucking, sex and then there is that other one where there is a conection between the two people involved."
"So you are gay."
"NO!!"
"OK fine, your not gay but you don't wanna fuck some hot, she is hot at least, chick, right?"
"Well yeah"
"OK thats good, so why don't you just wanna fuck her brains out?"
"Well cause I have always prefered to have a connection with the woman I am with."
"So you have only been with one woman in your life?"
"Well two, ok six if you count the times they brought a friend home."
"So you have had three ways. What about when you were with the other woman? what did it feel like then?"
"it was different, but my girlfriends always said to just keep going and try and picture my face on her. Which was never really that hard, until we met up with a black woman."
"You got something against black women?"
"No, no, it was just hard imagining my girl friend who is not all that tan, on a black womans body."
"ohh ok"
"But ya know with out my girlfriend here its just been so diffacult to stop picturing her around the place."
"Why did she leave?"
"She said I wasn't exciting any more that and I hadn't proposed yet after three years."
"Well had you become stagnent?"
"kinda but thats because i like to get into a rthym at work and in life, I mean I'd still come home some days and ask if she wanted to go out then take her for a late dinner or walk or something. As for the marriage thing well she never talked about it. But I had picked out a ring and just needed one more month before I could buy it."
"So you were planing on proposing?"
"yeah I was, but now she is in mexico and I am here"
"Why is she in mexico?"
"Well she went on vacation with some friends."
"did she ask you to go with?"
"not really, but I told her that when I get my vacation in the summer that we would go some where like Jamica or something."
"What did she think of that idea?"
"She liked it but didn't know if she could get another week off later in the year."
"Well ya know what I think? I think that when she gets back you talk to her take her out to dinner and tell her everything. But instead of me being a phone sex operator tell her I am a girl you met in a bar."
"You think I should do that?"
"I do indeed."
"OK then. Well thank you for helping me."
"No problem, now are we gonna get down to the talking dirty." With that she let a little laugh out.
"No I think I am just gonna fall asleep right now."
"OK well you have a good night"
"Thank you"
CLICK.
Three days later I talked to Kara again. By the way that was the best $47.56 I ever spent.
