Friday, March 26, 2004
liners for pool boy
sit back and grab some jesus juice its pool boy on 91 fm
pool boy has fueds you don't even know about.
ever have that feeling that some one may be stalking you? ya thats pool boy
ever look out the window and all you see in the bushes is eyes? ya thats pool boy
cleaning cough caough pools since 1998
if this guy got any cooler he'd be freezing and well all know that cold pools cause shrinkage.
why do you think they call him pool boy, well its cause he is in to water sports right hot carl
the only guy who wears a rubber ducky out side of the pool.
put on your intertube flippers and water wings its pool boy on 91fm
the best pool boy in the tri states or at least thats what the rich lonely wives say
Beyonce tried dating him but he had pools to clean.
He roots for the yankees yea and he also loves charlie pride
discovered by eminem put behind the mike by dre and produced by bubb its pool boy
|
sit back and grab some jesus juice its pool boy on 91 fm
pool boy has fueds you don't even know about.
ever have that feeling that some one may be stalking you? ya thats pool boy
ever look out the window and all you see in the bushes is eyes? ya thats pool boy
cleaning cough caough pools since 1998
if this guy got any cooler he'd be freezing and well all know that cold pools cause shrinkage.
why do you think they call him pool boy, well its cause he is in to water sports right hot carl
the only guy who wears a rubber ducky out side of the pool.
put on your intertube flippers and water wings its pool boy on 91fm
the best pool boy in the tri states or at least thats what the rich lonely wives say
Beyonce tried dating him but he had pools to clean.
He roots for the yankees yea and he also loves charlie pride
discovered by eminem put behind the mike by dre and produced by bubb its pool boy
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Since all my word programs are down I am gonna use this to bounce things off.
morning on super hits join the man who loves the smell of napalm. doc on 106.1
We got the shag carpet the lava lamps and the best hits of the 70's on Super hits 106.a
we can make you deals you can not refuse. Superhits 106.1
wake up to a horse's ... umm head every weekday its doc on superhits 106.1
and you thought we were trying its the morning rounds with doc SH 106.1
get your daily injection of humor on morning rounds with doc SH106.1
he wears daisy dukes all the time, frankly its quite disturbing its doc on superhits 106.1
Traveling the country seeking his father and settling scores with his... umm... does doc have any real talent? SH106.1
don't feed him after midnight and don't get him wet, well maybe thats what that smell is doc morning on SH 106.1
He wears llama skin coats and cobra skin boots, Doc on 106.1
We are better shots then the a-team. That and we aren't criminals, ok so maybe not doc. SH 106.1
Talking cars, big hair, and fun times its super hits 106.1
whats a muppet dad? its part mop part uppet. SH 106.1
we can rebuild him we can make him better we can wait this is doc we're talking about right? (million dollar man sound playing)
I bet you thought farra fawset looked good in a swim suit you should see the on air guys of SH 106.1
Charlie's angels ain't got nothing on doc.
(on cb radio) thats a big ten for big daddy I am listening to SH 106.1
at least doc understood hr puffenstuff
ever see wonderwoman's invisable plane? Doc has join him mornings on SH 106.1
HEY HEY HEY ITS DOC on SH 106.1
he has all of the josie and pussycats on beta its doc
you thought those people talking to puppets on seaseme street was weird doc does that every afternoon
We drink coke and eat pop rocks at the same time. can you say dangerous? SH 106.1
It really wasn't that hard to convince everyone here on SH to get mutton chops and to wear their shirts open all the time. But it was hard to get them to wear five pounds of gold around there necks.
eating frankenberry chased with Pabst its a regular breakfast on morning rounds with doc.
Coming to work everyday on a big wheel, now thats fun.
You want danger we drive pintos while smoking and quarter pounders with cheese. EXTRA PICKLES.
playing twister with doug wagen is quite interesting, playing it with ed witt is downright diffacult.
yes doc does own an eight track and its in his car.
Dr. J, Mr. Kotter and Doc are the only ones that ever looked good in afros.
trading cokes for football jerseys way before it was cool.
we know that its tuna in those cans sorry charlie but we do.
still afraid to go in the water actually we are afraid of toilets and baths too. (jaws music)
(dead air) that little bit of dead air was brought to you by schlitz.
shows about monkeys and their truck driving buddies always get us to stop.
Here's a story of a man named doc, and ahh hell i forget the rest but i do know he is single. how 'bout that ladies?
down goes frazier down goes frazier (no idea where that one came from)
johnny fever no this isn't WKRP in cincinatti its Super hits in Dubuque.
we'd like to teach the world to sing its just we're all tone def at super hits 106.1
Have you noticed dick clark hasn't aged a day since american band stand? us too, we think he is a cyborg.
listen to lief garret back before he wasted his money on good drugs and bad advice. (ok so thats my sick sence of humor)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS THE CASSIDY BROTHERS!!!!!
rick springfield was from austrialia?
I am betting right now that you are thinking of william shattner in a tight police uniform... you weren't well you are now. SH
we don't have post it notes here at super hits 106.1 no if we leave a message its on a etch a sketch.
Maybe more 2morrow.
|
morning on super hits join the man who loves the smell of napalm. doc on 106.1
We got the shag carpet the lava lamps and the best hits of the 70's on Super hits 106.a
we can make you deals you can not refuse. Superhits 106.1
wake up to a horse's ... umm head every weekday its doc on superhits 106.1
and you thought we were trying its the morning rounds with doc SH 106.1
get your daily injection of humor on morning rounds with doc SH106.1
he wears daisy dukes all the time, frankly its quite disturbing its doc on superhits 106.1
Traveling the country seeking his father and settling scores with his... umm... does doc have any real talent? SH106.1
don't feed him after midnight and don't get him wet, well maybe thats what that smell is doc morning on SH 106.1
He wears llama skin coats and cobra skin boots, Doc on 106.1
We are better shots then the a-team. That and we aren't criminals, ok so maybe not doc. SH 106.1
Talking cars, big hair, and fun times its super hits 106.1
whats a muppet dad? its part mop part uppet. SH 106.1
we can rebuild him we can make him better we can wait this is doc we're talking about right? (million dollar man sound playing)
I bet you thought farra fawset looked good in a swim suit you should see the on air guys of SH 106.1
Charlie's angels ain't got nothing on doc.
(on cb radio) thats a big ten for big daddy I am listening to SH 106.1
at least doc understood hr puffenstuff
ever see wonderwoman's invisable plane? Doc has join him mornings on SH 106.1
HEY HEY HEY ITS DOC on SH 106.1
he has all of the josie and pussycats on beta its doc
you thought those people talking to puppets on seaseme street was weird doc does that every afternoon
We drink coke and eat pop rocks at the same time. can you say dangerous? SH 106.1
It really wasn't that hard to convince everyone here on SH to get mutton chops and to wear their shirts open all the time. But it was hard to get them to wear five pounds of gold around there necks.
eating frankenberry chased with Pabst its a regular breakfast on morning rounds with doc.
Coming to work everyday on a big wheel, now thats fun.
You want danger we drive pintos while smoking and quarter pounders with cheese. EXTRA PICKLES.
playing twister with doug wagen is quite interesting, playing it with ed witt is downright diffacult.
yes doc does own an eight track and its in his car.
Dr. J, Mr. Kotter and Doc are the only ones that ever looked good in afros.
trading cokes for football jerseys way before it was cool.
we know that its tuna in those cans sorry charlie but we do.
still afraid to go in the water actually we are afraid of toilets and baths too. (jaws music)
(dead air) that little bit of dead air was brought to you by schlitz.
shows about monkeys and their truck driving buddies always get us to stop.
Here's a story of a man named doc, and ahh hell i forget the rest but i do know he is single. how 'bout that ladies?
down goes frazier down goes frazier (no idea where that one came from)
johnny fever no this isn't WKRP in cincinatti its Super hits in Dubuque.
we'd like to teach the world to sing its just we're all tone def at super hits 106.1
Have you noticed dick clark hasn't aged a day since american band stand? us too, we think he is a cyborg.
listen to lief garret back before he wasted his money on good drugs and bad advice. (ok so thats my sick sence of humor)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS THE CASSIDY BROTHERS!!!!!
rick springfield was from austrialia?
I am betting right now that you are thinking of william shattner in a tight police uniform... you weren't well you are now. SH
we don't have post it notes here at super hits 106.1 no if we leave a message its on a etch a sketch.
Maybe more 2morrow.
Friday, March 12, 2004
1-900...
It was 3:30am and I was unable to sleep. I'd been up watching late night TV for so long, that damn juicer and rotissier cooker are starting to look like sound investments. I broke up with my girl friend of 3 years a week ago. She left for Mexico the next day. She said she broke up with me because I was stuck in a rut and wasn't exciting any more well that and its been three years and she has no ring. Women really ought to come with instructions.
Since she broke up with me I have been showing up to work early and leaving around midnight, then its off to the MY local watering hole. I live in a pretty liberal open minded college town and let me tell you the women are very openminded. Some times it does kinda freak me out. Just last night I was enjoying my Budwieser in a bottle, always a bottle, when this young lady had to have been 21-22 came up to me and started rubbing herself on me. Telling me all about her day and asking me questions. I can tell you this when I go out I go out to drink not meet women for a random hook up. She was kinda turned off, but then I turned on the charm and started to get her a bit relaxed. If there is one thing I hate about myself is that I hate being a mean person. Well we hit off that night and I got her number and I invited her back to my place. Sure I was a bit wasted but what the hell it was only a four block walk back to my appartment. When we got back it seemed like a letter from Penthouse Forum, at 1st any way. After we got in the door I asked if she wanted anything to drink, she asked what kind of alcohol I had for shots, I pulled down some Doc, Tequilla, Jack, and Korbel (if there is anything I have its lots of alcohol in my appartment). She wanted some tequilla after getting the salt and lime and shot ready she asked if we could do body shots, drunk and kinda loopy I said why not. She put some salt in her cleavage ample athletic cleavage at that, I licked that off then she started pouring it down her chest, I caught most of it. She then did it to me on my neck. Ohh it felt so good just to have a women touching me again. She then started kissing my neck further and started touching me and moving places. Ohh this was great. Then she grabbed my belt and started to undo it. I wanted to I really did. But I told her to stop. I couldn't do this.
"What do you mean you can't do this? You got whiskey dick or something? Listen I know I can get you off."
"No no its not that at all"
"What don't you find me fuckable?"
Ohh there was a questioned that hadn't been posed to me in a while, "No god no. I think you are a beautiful young woman."
"Then why the fuck aren't we fucking like rabbits?"
Yeah why weren't we? "Listen you are a beautiful young woman its just I just broke up and don't really feel ready to get back in dating game just yet."
"Dating who said anything about dating? I just wanna fuck. My ride has already left and I not paying for a cab or going home this late so either we fuck and you fall asleep with me or I'll just go back and find some other guy I am sure there are still some horney guys left just walking the streets."
"No, no don't do that. Why don't you just go in to my bed room and just spend the night. OK? I don't want you out on th streets just looking for some random guy." She looked at me like what is wrong with you.
"Don't I turn you on? I mean don't you wanna fuck me?"
"You are a pretty young lady its just that I don't work that way."
"Well fine. But you aren't some kind of psycho killer are you?"
"No. If it makes you feel better you can lock the bedroom door, there are some shirts in the basket closest to the computer that you can sleep in if you want"
"Well damnit now I am tired and drunk. So I guess I will just stay here. But you had your chance so nothing funny," with that she shot me a cold look.
"Don't worry. If ya need a ride back wake me up in the morning."
If that she walked into my bed room and I heard the door click and then lock behind her. I could have been screwing some hot college chick instead I am on the couch tonight. Ohh well my mind was still on Kara.
I grabbed another Bud from the fridge and the remote and sat down. I flipped on the channels and 'The People vs Larry Flint' was on a good movie. As I sat there watching a commercial came on. A commercial for 'fun girls and good chats.' Always an interesting thing. Then I heard it coming from my bed room, snoring, incredibly loud snoring. Damn a little girl like that snoring that loud. Thats when a similar commercial came on for a party line, geez man. But there was the phone right there, maybe I should, nah, wait, maybe, nah, shit the commercials over now. Maybe the next time it come on. When the next commercial break came on I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I went back in and sat down and had the phone in hand when the next one came on.
I started dialing and before I could hang up there was a voice. shit I guess now that I am here might as well stay for a while.
"Hello" came the sultry voice. Probably a fat ugly chick.
"uhh hello."
"you sound kind hesitant. This your 1st time?"
"well yeah, on the phone with a stranger and all."
"Oh well don't worry about it I do this all day long. So what are you wear..."
"Really all day long? Doesn't it get tiring some days?"
"Not when I am talking to hot newbies like you."
"Well how do you know if I am hot?"
"Well you called me and if you called ME I know your hot"
"Wait a sec here. How many hot guys call these numbers. I mean I imagine the guys who call these mubers are pimply losers who struck out and have a vidid imagination and can't get laid."
"Nope they are all hot guys. So do you mind if we can get on with it... so what are you wearing right now?"
"All hot guys, is that just what you tell yourself to get through it?"
"You aren't one of those self loathing religious haters are you?"
"ohh god no, its just that I am well I am torn"
"I shouldn't ask this... why are you torn? Are you attracted to guy but think your straight?"
"ummm no... I.... I .... I just broke up with my girlfriend and then tonight I met this young lady and she came back to my place and well we were about to get into when I just couldn't do it."
"what like couldn't get it up? Cause I can help you with that."
"God, why do you two keep telling me that? No, I just couldn't fuck her. I mean there is fucking, sex and then there is that other one where there is a conection between the two people involved."
"So you are gay."
"NO!!"
"OK fine, your not gay but you don't wanna fuck some hot, she is hot at least, chick, right?"
"Well yeah"
"OK thats good, so why don't you just wanna fuck her brains out?"
"Well cause I have always prefered to have a connection with the woman I am with."
"So you have only been with one woman in your life?"
"Well two, ok six if you count the times they brought a friend home."
"So you have had three ways. What about when you were with the other woman? what did it feel like then?"
"it was different, but my girlfriends always said to just keep going and try and picture my face on her. Which was never really that hard, until we met up with a black woman."
"You got something against black women?"
"No, no, it was just hard imagining my girl friend who is not all that tan, on a black womans body."
"ohh ok"
"But ya know with out my girlfriend here its just been so diffacult to stop picturing her around the place."
"Why did she leave?"
"She said I wasn't exciting any more that and I hadn't proposed yet after three years."
"Well had you become stagnent?"
"kinda but thats because i like to get into a rthym at work and in life, I mean I'd still come home some days and ask if she wanted to go out then take her for a late dinner or walk or something. As for the marriage thing well she never talked about it. But I had picked out a ring and just needed one more month before I could buy it."
"So you were planing on proposing?"
"yeah I was, but now she is in mexico and I am here"
"Why is she in mexico?"
"Well she went on vacation with some friends."
"did she ask you to go with?"
"not really, but I told her that when I get my vacation in the summer that we would go some where like Jamica or something."
"What did she think of that idea?"
"She liked it but didn't know if she could get another week off later in the year."
"Well ya know what I think? I think that when she gets back you talk to her take her out to dinner and tell her everything. But instead of me being a phone sex operator tell her I am a girl you met in a bar."
"You think I should do that?"
"I do indeed."
"OK then. Well thank you for helping me."
"No problem, now are we gonna get down to the talking dirty." With that she let a little laugh out.
"No I think I am just gonna fall asleep right now."
"OK well you have a good night"
"Thank you"
CLICK.
Three days later I talked to Kara again. By the way that was the best $47.56 I ever spent.
|
It was 3:30am and I was unable to sleep. I'd been up watching late night TV for so long, that damn juicer and rotissier cooker are starting to look like sound investments. I broke up with my girl friend of 3 years a week ago. She left for Mexico the next day. She said she broke up with me because I was stuck in a rut and wasn't exciting any more well that and its been three years and she has no ring. Women really ought to come with instructions.
Since she broke up with me I have been showing up to work early and leaving around midnight, then its off to the MY local watering hole. I live in a pretty liberal open minded college town and let me tell you the women are very openminded. Some times it does kinda freak me out. Just last night I was enjoying my Budwieser in a bottle, always a bottle, when this young lady had to have been 21-22 came up to me and started rubbing herself on me. Telling me all about her day and asking me questions. I can tell you this when I go out I go out to drink not meet women for a random hook up. She was kinda turned off, but then I turned on the charm and started to get her a bit relaxed. If there is one thing I hate about myself is that I hate being a mean person. Well we hit off that night and I got her number and I invited her back to my place. Sure I was a bit wasted but what the hell it was only a four block walk back to my appartment. When we got back it seemed like a letter from Penthouse Forum, at 1st any way. After we got in the door I asked if she wanted anything to drink, she asked what kind of alcohol I had for shots, I pulled down some Doc, Tequilla, Jack, and Korbel (if there is anything I have its lots of alcohol in my appartment). She wanted some tequilla after getting the salt and lime and shot ready she asked if we could do body shots, drunk and kinda loopy I said why not. She put some salt in her cleavage ample athletic cleavage at that, I licked that off then she started pouring it down her chest, I caught most of it. She then did it to me on my neck. Ohh it felt so good just to have a women touching me again. She then started kissing my neck further and started touching me and moving places. Ohh this was great. Then she grabbed my belt and started to undo it. I wanted to I really did. But I told her to stop. I couldn't do this.
"What do you mean you can't do this? You got whiskey dick or something? Listen I know I can get you off."
"No no its not that at all"
"What don't you find me fuckable?"
Ohh there was a questioned that hadn't been posed to me in a while, "No god no. I think you are a beautiful young woman."
"Then why the fuck aren't we fucking like rabbits?"
Yeah why weren't we? "Listen you are a beautiful young woman its just I just broke up and don't really feel ready to get back in dating game just yet."
"Dating who said anything about dating? I just wanna fuck. My ride has already left and I not paying for a cab or going home this late so either we fuck and you fall asleep with me or I'll just go back and find some other guy I am sure there are still some horney guys left just walking the streets."
"No, no don't do that. Why don't you just go in to my bed room and just spend the night. OK? I don't want you out on th streets just looking for some random guy." She looked at me like what is wrong with you.
"Don't I turn you on? I mean don't you wanna fuck me?"
"You are a pretty young lady its just that I don't work that way."
"Well fine. But you aren't some kind of psycho killer are you?"
"No. If it makes you feel better you can lock the bedroom door, there are some shirts in the basket closest to the computer that you can sleep in if you want"
"Well damnit now I am tired and drunk. So I guess I will just stay here. But you had your chance so nothing funny," with that she shot me a cold look.
"Don't worry. If ya need a ride back wake me up in the morning."
If that she walked into my bed room and I heard the door click and then lock behind her. I could have been screwing some hot college chick instead I am on the couch tonight. Ohh well my mind was still on Kara.
I grabbed another Bud from the fridge and the remote and sat down. I flipped on the channels and 'The People vs Larry Flint' was on a good movie. As I sat there watching a commercial came on. A commercial for 'fun girls and good chats.' Always an interesting thing. Then I heard it coming from my bed room, snoring, incredibly loud snoring. Damn a little girl like that snoring that loud. Thats when a similar commercial came on for a party line, geez man. But there was the phone right there, maybe I should, nah, wait, maybe, nah, shit the commercials over now. Maybe the next time it come on. When the next commercial break came on I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I went back in and sat down and had the phone in hand when the next one came on.
I started dialing and before I could hang up there was a voice. shit I guess now that I am here might as well stay for a while.
"Hello" came the sultry voice. Probably a fat ugly chick.
"uhh hello."
"you sound kind hesitant. This your 1st time?"
"well yeah, on the phone with a stranger and all."
"Oh well don't worry about it I do this all day long. So what are you wear..."
"Really all day long? Doesn't it get tiring some days?"
"Not when I am talking to hot newbies like you."
"Well how do you know if I am hot?"
"Well you called me and if you called ME I know your hot"
"Wait a sec here. How many hot guys call these numbers. I mean I imagine the guys who call these mubers are pimply losers who struck out and have a vidid imagination and can't get laid."
"Nope they are all hot guys. So do you mind if we can get on with it... so what are you wearing right now?"
"All hot guys, is that just what you tell yourself to get through it?"
"You aren't one of those self loathing religious haters are you?"
"ohh god no, its just that I am well I am torn"
"I shouldn't ask this... why are you torn? Are you attracted to guy but think your straight?"
"ummm no... I.... I .... I just broke up with my girlfriend and then tonight I met this young lady and she came back to my place and well we were about to get into when I just couldn't do it."
"what like couldn't get it up? Cause I can help you with that."
"God, why do you two keep telling me that? No, I just couldn't fuck her. I mean there is fucking, sex and then there is that other one where there is a conection between the two people involved."
"So you are gay."
"NO!!"
"OK fine, your not gay but you don't wanna fuck some hot, she is hot at least, chick, right?"
"Well yeah"
"OK thats good, so why don't you just wanna fuck her brains out?"
"Well cause I have always prefered to have a connection with the woman I am with."
"So you have only been with one woman in your life?"
"Well two, ok six if you count the times they brought a friend home."
"So you have had three ways. What about when you were with the other woman? what did it feel like then?"
"it was different, but my girlfriends always said to just keep going and try and picture my face on her. Which was never really that hard, until we met up with a black woman."
"You got something against black women?"
"No, no, it was just hard imagining my girl friend who is not all that tan, on a black womans body."
"ohh ok"
"But ya know with out my girlfriend here its just been so diffacult to stop picturing her around the place."
"Why did she leave?"
"She said I wasn't exciting any more that and I hadn't proposed yet after three years."
"Well had you become stagnent?"
"kinda but thats because i like to get into a rthym at work and in life, I mean I'd still come home some days and ask if she wanted to go out then take her for a late dinner or walk or something. As for the marriage thing well she never talked about it. But I had picked out a ring and just needed one more month before I could buy it."
"So you were planing on proposing?"
"yeah I was, but now she is in mexico and I am here"
"Why is she in mexico?"
"Well she went on vacation with some friends."
"did she ask you to go with?"
"not really, but I told her that when I get my vacation in the summer that we would go some where like Jamica or something."
"What did she think of that idea?"
"She liked it but didn't know if she could get another week off later in the year."
"Well ya know what I think? I think that when she gets back you talk to her take her out to dinner and tell her everything. But instead of me being a phone sex operator tell her I am a girl you met in a bar."
"You think I should do that?"
"I do indeed."
"OK then. Well thank you for helping me."
"No problem, now are we gonna get down to the talking dirty." With that she let a little laugh out.
"No I think I am just gonna fall asleep right now."
"OK well you have a good night"
"Thank you"
CLICK.
Three days later I talked to Kara again. By the way that was the best $47.56 I ever spent.
